I made your decision...

You know when you run into a situation with somebody and you immediately start to think of all the options and outcomes. You predict what the other person will say or how they'll act, so you presumptively make a decision without even allowing the other person enter the conversation (that is only in your head). Yup, that's me. That's also you. Unless you have no filter between your thoughts and mouth. Welcome to the world of "I made your decision."


I learnt it the hard way. I'm a natural born "over-thinker", so it's obvious that when opportunity or situation arises I follow up with all the possible outcomes and make the decision in my head, usually a negative one, and don't let that situation play out by it's natural course. I always assume that I'm not good enough, not capable, they don't want me or they obviously seemed disheartened. You read into things so much without putting that question or living-breathing two people dialogue into the real space. Maybe it's self-doubt and overthinking that causes it, but it undermines you right in the beginning. So it comes down to shooting yourself in the foot right away by making a decision for somebody else or letting it play out and having a fair 50/50 chance. I've lost jobs, relationships and other opportunities by instantly taking myself out of the game because I didn't allow the other party to enter the conversation. With those past mistakes of selling myself short and not believing in myself or the other person, I've had zero success. So I've decided to give myself the 50 percent and letting other people make their own decision - at least then I stand a chance of winning.


Ask him if he wants more. Ask her for a raise. Ask them for their decision.


Have courage!