The end.

March 8, 2019

It is only appropriate that I start this blog with an ending. After all, it's who I am. 

 

Why ending? Ending always requires a beginning, otherwise there wouldn't be a concept as such, even my post started with "the". However, those two verbs indicate that there is something to be measured. We measure our life in numbers and it's obvious that the biggest number we talk about in our everyday lives are of time. (Time is a social construct?! Got it, thanks.) How old are you? When will you be here? How long do I need to agitate the film? When are we celebrating International Women's day? How much time do I have?

 

What a lot of people don't realise is that time is running by and so is their life.

 

I always hear people living in future. "I'm going to start searching for job in my desired field when I quit my old one, because I need to save money for a trip." And that trip, isn't a planned one that you wanted to do for ages, it's just the only pleasurable way you can think of spending your money. Catch that person, still saving up that money 3 years later, still hasn't gone on the vacation but money for it is long there. Hey, maybe it's their comfort zone - job is easy, they know the ins and outs - and are afraid of trying and failing. 

 

Then there's people who live in the past. Cling to it or are reminded of it everyday. "I broke up with my girlfriend a year ago, so I'm not ready for a new relationship." Yes, grieving and loss is individual and takes different amount of time to overcome for different people. Hey, I'm pretty sure I mourned a relationship for 3 years, until I didn't anymore. And I didn't anymore because I decided that my life is still going, I'm worthy of more and I'm blocking myself off of anything positive coming my way. I made a conscious decision to let go.

 

Between the beginning and end, future and past there is middle - the present, where everybody should live. Find that job you want for your future, now. Go on that forever prolonged trip, now. Say thank you to your ex in your mind and let them go, now. Do it all for yourself. For your past, because past self deserves a better you. For your future, because future self deserves a better you. The current self needs to be a better you. A happier you.

 

I think the reason why I wanted to write about time is because so many people in my life seem to not be aware by it.  (My mother would probably say: "Look in the mirror. Other's faults that bother you are your own faults.") I'm so saddened to see my friends struggling with themselves because all they can think about is future and past. Stop waiting for things to happen, stop saying wrong place wrong time, stop dwelling on something you can't change, stop everything that doesn't make your current self good right here right now. Instead of waiting - do what you said you were going to do. Instead of wrong place or wrong time - think why this happened to you at "wrong" place, "wrong" time, you'll most likely find it was the opposite. Instead of dwelling - fix it or move on.

 

So this is me telling you: quit your job, write them how you feel, move to different country, buy that expensive book, eat that cake, say yes to scary things. Make yourself a life that you want, even if it's through struggles, challenges and rejections. At least you lived in the moment not in the past/future where things are non-existent and unchangeable. 

 

I was listening to my favoured commute podcast Optimal Living Daily(Episode 1152: Living Life To The Fullest by Allison Carmen of The Gift of Maybe on Optimism & Happiness) and a quote rang in my ears long after the podcast was finished. Allison wrote what Steve Sotloff has said: “Everyone has two lives. A second one begins when you realise you only have one.” Holy fuck, yes. The only constant is change and if you aren't then time always is. 

 

 

 

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